take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
