Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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