I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
