Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
