I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
