Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
