plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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