just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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