So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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