Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
