There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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