Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize