just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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