well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We are all done wearing pants today
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
