Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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