i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
