Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
