laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
should my penis look like a turkey
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
