my being single is dangerous.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
