saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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