Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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