My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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