his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
