therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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