well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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