She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
