So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
