You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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