final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
