Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
