Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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