Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
