im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
