i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
