I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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