I'm drive I can fine osifer
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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