Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
