he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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