Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You were trust falling into bushes
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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