and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
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She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
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sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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