omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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