i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
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he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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