at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
