where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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