he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
