I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
