porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize