idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
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