never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize