i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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