billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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