my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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