She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
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