My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
