im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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