I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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