I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
