would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
