I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
