never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
my poor anus
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
