Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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