so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
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It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
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Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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