New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
